Things Narcissistic Mothers Say to Sons & Daughters

Things narcissistic mothers say can echo in our minds for years, shaping our self-view and relationships. This article peels back the layers on those memorable phrases, offering a clearer view into the intricate dynamics of such maternal relationships.

We’ll explore common things narcissistic mothers say, their hidden meanings, and how they can influence us long after they’re spoken.

Things narcissistic mothers say to their sons

The bond between mother and son can often be complex, especially when the mother has narcissistic tendencies. Such narcissistic mothers may use words that belittle, confuse, or emotionally ensnare their sons.

The phrases they choose often have a double edge, conveying concern but also subtly undermining the son’s autonomy and confidence. Understanding these dynamics and the 12 narcissist traits is crucial for healing and moving forward.

Here is a list of common things a narcissistic mother says to her son:

“I did everything for you, and this is how you repay me?”
“You’re not really going to wear that, are you?”
“Why can’t you be more like [other person]?”
“I’m the only one who really loves you.”
“You’d be nothing without me.”

These phrases from a narcissistic mother can deeply affect a son’s self-esteem and emotional well-being. They often carry implicit criticism and comparison, fostering a sense of inadequacy and dependence.

Over time, this can lead to a son doubting his worth and decisions, constantly seeking approval, or struggling to establish healthy boundaries.

Recognizing these patterns is the first step towards healing, allowing the son to reclaim his sense of self and build resilience against such damaging narratives.

Things narcissistic mothers say to their daughters

When a narcissistic mother communicates with her daughter, the words can be particularly cutting, often wrapped in the guise of maternal guidance or concern.

These comments can shape a daughter’s self-image, instilling doubt and guilt while undermining her achievements. The impact of such phrases can lead to a persistent internal conflict for adult daughters of narcissistic mothers, battling between the need for maternal approval and the desire for individuality.

Here’s a list of things a narcissistic mother says to her daughter:

“You would be so pretty if you just tried harder.”
“I was never like that when I was your age.”
“You should be more ladylike.”
“That career isn’t suitable for a woman of our status.”
“You’re not going out dressed like that, are you?”

Related: Karma Narcissist Quotes

Things covert narcissistic mothers say

Covert narcissist mothers often disguise their manipulative comments as caring advice, making their words particularly insidious. They may project an image of the self-sacrificing mother, all the while subtly undermining and controlling their child.

Their statements can be cloaked in concern but are designed to maintain a firm grip on the child’s psyche, often leaving the child questioning their own feelings and reality.

Here’s 40 examples of things covert narcissistic mothers say:

“I only want what’s best for you.”
“You’re too sensitive, I was just joking.”
“I never said that, you must be remembering wrong.”
“I’m your mother, no one will ever understand you like I do.”
“You always find something to complain about.”
“I don’t know why you feel that way, I never put any pressure on you.”
“You’re always so dramatic.”
“I was just giving my opinion, you don’t have to take it.”
“You used to be so good at this; I don’t know what’s happened.”
“I did so much for you and this is how you repay me?”
“I guess I’m just a terrible mother, then.”
“You could be so successful if you followed my advice.”
“I don’t know where I went wrong with you.”
“After all I’ve sacrificed, this is the thanks I get?”
“You’ll understand when you have kids of your own.”
“I don’t need to apologize; I’m your mother.”
“Why do you always have to make things difficult?”
“You should trust me, I know what’s best.”
“You’ll never find anyone who cares for you as much as I do.”
“It’s not my fault you took it the wrong way.”
“I’m only critical because I love you.”
“You always make me out to be the bad guy.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way, but I was right.”
“You’ll thank me one day.”
“No one else will tell you this, but…”
“I guess I should just stop caring so much!”
“You’re misinterpreting my words.”
“I’m just trying to help you.”
“You need me more than you think.”
“I don’t know why you’re being so ungrateful.”
“You should have listened to me.”
“I was just trying to protect you.”
“You don’t know how good you have it.”
“You’ll realize I was right when it’s too late.”
“I’m the only one who tells you the truth.”
“You don’t appreciate all I do for you.”
“Why do you always have to argue with me?”
“I suppose it’s my fault, as usual.”
“You think you’re so independent, but you’re not.”
“Look at everything I’ve given up for you.”

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FAQs on Things Narcissist Mothers Say

What does a narcissistic mother say?

A narcissistic mother often says things that manipulate or belittle, under the guise of care or concern. Common phrases might include undermining a child’s confidence or exaggerating the mother’s role and sacrifices.

What do narcissistic mothers do to their daughters?

Narcissistic mothers might subject their daughters to unrealistic expectations, criticism about appearance or behavior, and emotional manipulation, often leading to strained self-esteem and relationship challenges for the daughter.

What do narcissistic mothers do to their sons?

Narcissistic mothers may belittle their sons, question their decisions, and undermine their masculinity. They might also instill dependence through guilt, use emotional blackmail, and compare them unfavorably to others, impacting the son’s confidence and hindering his emotional independence.

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