40 Signs A Narcissist Is Done With You Or Will He/ She Come Back? | How To Know

Recognizing the signs a narcissist is done with you is crucial in navigating the complex dynamics of a relationship with a narcissist.

During my own relationship with a narcissist, we experienced numerous breakups, each leaving me with the tormenting question: will the narcissist come back?

At times, I felt a mix of relief and fear at the prospect of him not returning. It’s important to understand that the outcome varies significantly from one situation to another; it’s not the same for everyone.

With this in mind, let’s explore the 40 signs a narcissist is done with you and delve into the perplexing question: will they come back?

How to know if a narcissist is finished with you – 40 signs

Recognizing the signs a narcissist is done with you can be both enlightening and heartbreaking. It’s important to understand that these signs do not necessarily indicate an immediate end to the relationship.

Rather, they suggest that the initial phases of love bombing and idealization (known as the narcissistic abusive cycle) have ended. This shift signifies a critical juncture where the narcissist is done with maintaining the fake persona of a perfect partner and begins to reveal their true colors.

At this stage, the relationship may enter a challenging phase, often characterized by a decline in affection and respect. The signs listed below don’t always mean that the narcissist is ready to leave the relationship immediately.

However, they do indicate that the relationship is moving downhill, and even if the narcissist attempts to lure you back, the sincerity and intensity of their earlier affection are unlikely to return.

Let’s have a look at the 40 signs a narcissist is done with you divided in 4 different categories:

Emotional and Psychological Signs

1. Decreased Communication: When a narcissist is finished with you, they often reduce their communication significantly. This shift is noticeable and can leave you feeling confused and isolated.
2. Lack of Emotional Investment: When they’re done, narcissists withdraw their emotional investment. They become indifferent, cold, and unresponsive to your needs or feelings.
3. Sudden Disinterest in Your Life: If you’re pondering how to know if a narcissist is finished with you, observe their interest in your life. A disinterested attitude is a telling sign.
4. Emotional Withdrawal: A marked sign is their emotional withdrawal. They may seem disconnected or uncaring about things that would normally upset or please you.
5. Indifference to Your Feelings: A significant sign is their blatant indifference to your feelings. When a narcissist leaves you, your emotional state becomes irrelevant to them.
6. Sudden Lack of Jealousy: If they previously exhibited jealousy and suddenly stop, it could indicate they’re no longer invested in the relationship.
7. Your Gut Feeling: Often, one of the most telling signs is your own intuition telling you that something is not right in the relationship.
8. Making You Feel Unworthy: They may make you feel unworthy or inadequate, a tactic to keep you off-balance and insecure.
9. No Interest in Your Well-being: They show little to no concern for your emotional or physical well-being, which was not the case earlier in the relationship.
10. Final Indifference and Detachment: The ultimate sign is their complete indifference and emotional detachment, which can feel like a cold and final cutoff.

Related: Weird Things Narcissists Do Sexually 

Behavioral and Interpersonal Shifts

1. They No Longer Seek Your Approval: Narcissists thrive on admiration. However, when they are done, your approval or disapproval no longer affects them.
2. Public Humiliation: They may start demeaning you in public as a sign of their disengagement and lack of respect.
3. Criticism and Belittling: When a narcissist is done, they may frequently criticize or belittle you. This behavior is often a tactic to diminish your self-esteem.
4. No Effort in Resolving Conflicts: They show little to no interest in resolving disagreements or conflicts, suggesting they are no longer invested in the relationship’s health.
5. Ignoring Your Needs and Requests: They consistently ignore or trivialize your needs and requests, showing a lack of regard for you as a partner.
6. Disrespect for Boundaries: If they begin to blatantly disrespect your personal boundaries, it’s a strong indicator of their fading interest and respect.
7. Neglecting Special Occasions: Forgetting or showing indifference towards important dates like anniversaries or birthdays can be a sign of their dwindling interest.
8. Increased Irritability or Aggression: If they become easily irritated or aggressive towards you, it’s a sign of deep-seated issues in the relationship.
9. Blaming You for Everything: When everything is suddenly your fault, and they refuse to acknowledge their own role in any problems, it’s a clear red flag.
10. Open Disregard for Your Opinions: Your thoughts and opinions are met with open disregard or contempt.

Related: Karma Narcissist Quotes

Changes in Relationship Dynamics

1. Gaslighting Increases: The intensity of gaslighting or psychological manipulation often escalates as they try to justify their detachment.
2. Infidelity Becomes Evident: Narcissists might not be discreet about their affairs when they’re losing interest in the relationship.
3. Future Plans Fade Away: Talk about future plans or promises they made starts to vanish. This is often a clue when wondering, will a narcissist always come back?
4. Avoidance of Personal Interaction: They avoid spending time with you, an indication of their disinterest.
5. Shift in Priorities: Suddenly, you’re no longer a priority. Their time and attention are consistently elsewhere, indicating a shift in their focus away from you.
6. Absence of Narcissistic Supply: They no longer seek the usual narcissistic supply from you – admiration, validation, attention – and may get it elsewhere.
7. Lack of Intimacy: A decline in physical and emotional intimacy can be a clear sign that a narcissist is distancing themselves from you.
8. Increased Focus on Their Own Needs: They become excessively focused on their own needs and desires, ignoring yours completely.
9. Rewriting Your Shared History: They might start to rewrite or negatively reinterpret your shared history, making you question your memories and experiences.
10. Indifference to Your Departure: If you talk about leaving or taking a break, they show indifference or even encourage it, indicating they’re not invested in maintaining the relationship.

Related: 10 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact

Changes in Personal and Social Conduct

1. Financial Manipulation: They may start to manipulate or control financial aspects more aggressively as a form of exerting their dominance.
2. Increased Secrecy and Privacy: They may become more secretive, keeping their phone, emails, or plans hidden, which wasn’t the case before.
3. Sudden Changes in Routine: A narcissist might change their daily routine drastically without considering its impact on you, reflecting their lack of regard for the relationship.
4. No More Future Discussions: They avoid or dismiss any conversations about your future together, a sign they’re not planning a life with you anymore.
5. No More Favors or Concessions: They stop doing favors or making any concessions for you, showing a lack of willingness to compromise or help.
6. Disappearance of Mutual Friends: You might notice mutual friends distancing themselves, possibly due to the narcissist’s influence or narratives.
7. Avoiding Physical Contact: Simple gestures of affection, like holding hands or hugging, become rare or non-existent.
8. Dismissive of Your Achievements: A lack of interest or outright dismissal of your achievements and successes can be a sign they’re withdrawing their support.
9. You Feel Isolated: You may start feeling isolated from your social circle, as the narcissist might be trying to cut off your support system.
10. Using Silent Treatment as Punishment: Using silence as a form of punishment or control is a common tactic when a narcissist is pulling away.

Next Steps: Responding to the Recognition of These 40 Signs

If you’ve identified with several of the 40 signs a narcissist is done with you, it’s essential to consider your next steps carefully. This recognition often leads to questions like, “will the narcissist come back?”

Remember, even if narcissists come back, the cycle of behavior is likely to repeat. It’s crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being and seek support.

If you’re interested in healing from narcissistic abuse, I warmly welcome you to my Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. It’s an easy self-paced online course which you can do at your own pace. My signature program combines scientific and spiritual tools for holistic healing of the body, mind, and spirit.

FAQs on Signs a Narcissist is Done with You

Additional Reading:

How to Make a Narcissist Fear You
Weird Things Covert Narcissists Do
Things Covert Narcissists Say
Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists?
How Does a Narcissist React When They Can’t Control You?