40 Funny Things To Say To A Narcissist

Ever felt like dishing out a witty comeback to a narcissist? Sometimes, humor is the best defense. In this article, we’ll explore funny things to say to a narcissist.

Whether it’s a parent, romantic partner, coworker, or friend, I’ve got you covered. Get ready to arm yourself with phrases that are both light-hearted and impactful.

10 Funny Things To Say To A Narcissist Parent

Dealing with a narcissist parent can be tough. Lighten the mood with these witty phrases.

1. “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
2. “Wow, you should teach a class on ‘Me, Myself, and I.'”
3. “I missed your call. Was it another ‘all about you’ update?”
4. “Your ‘greatest parent’ award is in the mail, I’m sure.”
5. “You’re right, the world does revolve around you… or was it the sun?”
6. “Listening to you is better than any soap opera.”
7. “I love how you give me life lessons you never follow.”
8. “You should write a book: ‘How to make everything about me.'”
9. “If I need advice on self-love, I know who to call.”
10. “You’re not just a parent, you’re a legend in your own mind.”

These light-hearted comments can bring a touch of humor to challenging conversations. Remember, sometimes a little levity is what you need to say to a narcissist.

Related: 10 Symptoms of Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers

10 Funny Things To Say To A Narcissist Romantic Partner

If you’re wondering how to deal with a narcissist, these humorous comebacks can lighten the mood in your relationship. Say these humorous phrases to your narcissist partner with a hint of sarcasm:

1. “Our relationship should be a reality show, titled ‘The World According to [Partner’s Name].'”
2. “I was wrong; you’re not always right, just most of the time!”
3. “You should give a TED Talk on ‘Being Perfect 101.'”
4. “If I had a dollar for every time you talked about yourself, we’d be millionaires.”
5. “Do you have an autobiography? I think I’m living in it.”
6. “I’d take a selfie with you, but there’s only room for one star.”
7. “You don’t need Google, you know everything!”
8. “Can we schedule my opinions in your busy talking-about-you timetable?”
9. “You’re not just a snack; you think you’re the whole menu!”
10. “If ego was an Olympic sport, you’d have gold medals.”

Related: Karma Narcissist Quotes

10 Funny Things To Say To A Narcissist Coworker

After covering 20 things to say to a narcissist in family and romantic relationships, let’s switch gears to the workplace. Here’s how to add some humor when dealing with a narcissist coworker.

1. “Congrats on winning ‘Employee of the Universe’ again!”
2. “Your secret talent must be turning every conversation into a monologue.”
3. “I’d love to chat, but I’m allergic to ego inflation.”
4. “Can I borrow your handbook on ‘How to Be Right All the Time’?”
5. “If self-importance was a project, you’d be the manager.”
6. “I thought the boss was in charge, but clearly, I was mistaken.”
7. “Your autobiography, ‘Me, Myself, and I at Work,’ must be a bestseller.”
8. “I guess your coffee is brewed with a spoonful of superiority?”
9. “When they said ‘teamwork,’ I didn’t know it meant ‘your team, your work.'”
10. “You’re not just a coworker; you’re the star of the office soap opera.”

Related: Narcissist Memes

10 Funny Things To Say To A Narcissist Friend

If you’re navigating a friendship with a narcissist friend, subtle comments, sarcastic jokes, and clever comebacks can be your go-to for keeping the atmosphere light. Check out these 10 phrases to say to a narcissist friend:

1. “You’re so humble, you only talk about yourself 90% of the time!”
2. “I’d get you a trophy for ‘World’s Best Talker,’ but it’d just be another thing about you.”
3. “When you said ‘let’s hang out,’ I didn’t know it meant attending your one-person show.”
4. “You’re the selfie king/queen; even your phone’s camera knows your face better than mine.”
5. “I’ll alert the media next time you do something that’s not about you.”
6. “If I had a dime for every time you said ‘I,’ I’d be on Forbes’ list.”
7. “Do you give lessons on how to turn every conversation into your autobiography?”
8. “We should play a game called ‘Spot the Narcissist.’ Spoiler: You win.”
9. “You’re not just a friend, you’re a walking, talking reality TV show.”
10. “Let’s make a documentary: ‘A Day in the Life of [Friend’s Name]’ – the audience would love it.”

Related: Setting Boundaries with a Narcissist

Sarcasm: The Perfect Language for Speaking to a Narcissist

Studies have shown a connection between dark personality traits like narcissism and specific humor styles. In Personality and Individual Differences, one study highlighted that traits such as psychopathy and narcissism often align with mockery-based humor, including sarcasm and satire.

Additionally, it’s been observed that those with narcissistic tendencies favor humor that enhances their image, using wit and fun to boost their reputation in social interactions. This insight helps explain why sarcastic remarks can be an effective way of communicating with narcissists.

Since narcissists often use humor to elevate their own status, responding in with sarcasm and clever quips can be a smart strategy.

It speaks their language, making your comments more impactful. Plus, using humor, especially sarcasm, allows you to express your perspective in a way that a narcissist is more likely to understand and appreciate.

This approach not only diffuses tension but can also bring a playful element to your interactions, making them more manageable and less stressful.

If you’re interested in healing from narcissistic abuse, I warmly welcome you to my Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. It’s an easy self-paced online course which you can do at your own pace. My signature program combines scientific and spiritual tools for holistic healing of the body, mind, and spirit.

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