Self Healing From Narcissistic Abuse | The Power Of Mindset

Self healing from narcissistic abuse is a journey of self-discovery and authenticity. If you’re going through emotional pain and suffering due to narcissistic abuse, I want you to know that your life doesn’t need to be like this.

You have a choice and I’m here to tell you that you have the power to change your life and break free from this dark spell that torments your mind, body and spirit.

Feeling helpless at this stage is common and everyone goes through it. But there is hope if you’re willing to change and transform yourself.

If you’re interested in healing from narcissistic abuse, I warmly welcome you to my Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. It’s an easy self-paced online course which you can do at your own pace. My signature program combines scientific and spiritual tools for holistic healing of the body, mind, and spirit.

5 Mindset shifting steps to self heal from narcissistic abuse

#1 Shift your mindset from saving the relationship to saving yourself

When you’re in a relationship with a narcissistic person, you get fixated on saving the relationship. You can’t help it and feel obliged to make things better. Your inner critic constantly tells you that if you were good enough, or if you did things differently, things will be better.

Saving the other person or the relationship is not your responsibility. To self heal from narcissistic abuse you need to shift your focus on saving yourself. Otherwise you will find yourself having countless failed attempts at trying to save the relationship which will cost you your mental and physical health.

Related: 12 Traits of a Narcissist

#2 Be curious about who you really are

Being in a relationship with a narcissistic abuser makes you feel disconnected from your true self. You might find it difficult to describe who you are, what you like, what you dislike, and what interests you.

Get curious about who you truly are and what beautiful qualities you have hidden inside of you. You might struggle to see your gifts and strengths as a result of the belittling comments and abuse. By dedicating some time for yourself to explore who you really are, you will start realizing that all the belittling comments you heard about yourself are NOT TRUE.

Related: Guided meditation for healing from narcissistic abuse

#3 Honor your needs and emotions

Sticking around with a narcissistic partner means that you had to neglect your needs and your emotions. Self healing from narcissistic abuse requires you to start paying attention to your needs so you can take better care of yourself.

Validating your emotions is also an essential step in self healing from narcissistic abuse. You don’t need anyone to validate your emotions, because your feelings MATTER. Your feelings and needs are important because you are worthy and you deserve to life a joyful and you deserve to be loved.

Stop waiting for other people to fulfill your needs and validate your emotions. Self-care and self-love starts with you!

Related: Narcissistic Abuse Therapy

#4 Set boundaries to protect yourself

Narcissistic people do not respect boundaries, they enjoy over-stepping your boundaries as it makes them feel powerful. Learning how to set boundaries is crucial if you want to stop hurting and taken advantage of.

Allowing someone to step over your boundaries means that you do not respect yourself enough. If someone choses to hurt you and devalue you it means that they are not good for you. You need to surround yourself with people who respect who you are. But first, you need to start respecting yourself and set the rules from the very beginning. Bending backwards to make someone else happy comes at the cost of your own happiness.

Setting boundaries means that you know how to protect yourself, and it shows that you know your worth. Whoever fails to see how valuable and worthy you are, does not belong with you. Make space for those who will!

#5 Visualize how you want your future to look like

Take a moment to reflect about your future. How does your future look like with this person? How do you want your future to look like?

Sticking around with a narcissistic person means that you are condemning yourself to more suffering and emotional turmoil.

Give up hope that things will get better and start visualizing your future without this person being present in your life. How would that future look like?

Be brave and face your fear of leaving or completely letting go of your abuser. From experience I can tell you that the fear is always worse than the thing itself. Face your fear and you will realize that it was the only path to liberation and breaking free from this nightmare.

Self-reflective exercise for self healing & soul searching

1. What values are important to me?

Make a list of 5-8 values that are important to you. Reflect on your life choices and relationships and see whether your choices are aligned with what you hold valuable in your life.

Examples of values: love, connection, honesty, integrity, respect, etc…

2. What are my needs?

List down your needs to see what you need to improve your well-being. Reflect on how you can nourish your needs to make yourself feel whole and complete.

Examples of needs: eating healthy meals, having a good sleep, spending time alone, reading a book, joining a community, having a calm mind etc…

3. What are my positive qualities?

Write down a list of your positive qualities and strengths. I understand that this might be challenging if you are struggling with self-esteem and self-worth as a result of narcissistic abuse. Connect with your true self and recognize your own beautiful gifts.

Examples of positive qualities: compassionate, kind hearted, good listener, creative, enjoy helping others, smart, resilient, a good cook, a loving mother etc…

4. What skills would I like to learn?

List down anything that comes into your mind that you would like to learn, even just for the fun of it. Take the initiative to learn something new and start building your own life which will empower you to self heal from narcissistic abuse and transform.

Examples: learning a new language, learning how to play an instrument, enrolling for a course, starting a new job, joining a dance class etc…

Reflecting on your ideal partner

1. What qualities do I look for in my ideal partner?

Imagine what kind of qualities would you like your ideal partner to have. Write them down and read them every now and then. During the process of self-healing from narcissistic abuse, these qualities will remind you of how your ideal partner looks like so you don’t settle for less!

Examples: giving me unconditional love, making me feel safe and supported, giving me space to grow and be my authentic self, respecting me and honoring my needs, respecting my boundaries, giving me love and affection etc…

2. Does my partner have these important qualities?

Now that you have a clearer picture of how your ideal partner looks like, take some time to reflect on whether your narcissistic partner possesses these qualities.

This should give you some clarity and empower you to align your life choices with what you really want to have in a partner.

3. Is my partner able to fulfill my needs?

In the self-reflective exercise, you listed down your needs. Take some time to reflect on whether you feel that you are being taken care of and respected when it comes to your needs.

4. How can my ideal partner support me in a relationship?

A healthy relationship means that both parties are supported and feel safe in the relationship. It allows space for personal growth and both parties feel that they can be their authentic selves without needing to compensate who they are.

If you don’t feel supported and safe in your relationship, it is inhibiting your personal growth and the chance to be truly happy in life. Write down how you would like your ideal partner to support you in the relationship.

Self healing from narcissistic abuse and seeking support

The process of healing can be messy, and it’s okay to feel scared. Most importantly, it is essential to keep moving forward and progressing. Seeking support from someone who can guide you through this journey of healing and transformation can help you stay accountable and committed to yourself.

Remember, every step, no matter how small, brings you closer to rediscovering your strength and reclaiming your life. Your resilience is a testament to your spirit, and with time and perseverance, you’ll rise above the challenges and embrace a brighter, more empowered future.

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